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Eating out with FMIL always ends with a huge mess at the table and a silent SO.

A quick update to the last post where I emailed a list of currently available apartments to SO. SO was upset that I was being a petty jerk but also recognized that he needs to set firmer boundaries with FMIL. Apprently it's only been the last year that she has shifted her focus onto him. Prior to that her gaze was on her dying parents, then her dying aunt, then her new grandson, and only recently has it been him in the crossfire. He recognized a lot of her behavior as boundary issues and has vowed to give less up when talking to her. I am trying to be understanding when he says it's very difficult to decline her because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings.

Anyways, these are some anecdotes of getting dinner with the inlaws. Relationships subreddit subscribers might remember this from last week. I fudged the details to make it less recognizable before so if you remember it, you might remember different details. I updated here with appropriate acronyms.

*We were eating at a Mexican restaurant and instead of letting FFIL eat the chips and salsa FMIL would scoop salsa onto chips and place them on the table in front of him. FMIL would refill this any time he was low so it wasn’t even working to portion control. As you can imagine, this made a huge mess on the table.
*FMIL insists on splitting glasses of wine instead of getting their own glasses, even when they order multiple glasses. She will pour half sloppily into a second glass.
*SO and FFIL decided to order an appetizer to split. FMIL scolded him for eating it. Actually she scolds him if he eats any of the shared food - chips, bread, appetizers, etc.
*FMIL has gone so far as to slap FFIL's hand away if he reaches for anything she doesn’t approve of. One dinner she spilled 3 glasses doing this. 1 full glass of wateice and 2 glasses of wine. When this happens she doesn’t notify the waiter so he walks by, sees ice all over the table, and gives a wtf look and starts cleaning it up.
*Since FMIL only lets FFIL order small dishes or appetizers, he is often hungry afterwards and complains there wasn’t enough food. He will then start in on anything edible left on the table - butter packets, salad dressing sides, etc, generally using his fingers to get to every last drop.
*Every conversation is about FMIL's anxieties of future events. ‘You need to find an apartment (I’m not moving for 3 months, places don’t even list that far out.) “What are you going to do about your dogs on X trip?” (I have a regular sitter.) “Are you sure you’re going to get vacation time at your new job to take a trip?” (X trip was scheduled prior to getting the job and yes, I’ll have vacation.) “If you can’t go, I could go in your place.” (Wut) If any of these events don’t take place prior to the next dinner, we will rehash the exact same conversation.
*Bonus FIL addition: SO is getting his PhD and will be going to the hooding ceremony later in the year. FIL says loudly, with our black waiter right behind us, "What are you getting hooded for, are you joining the KKK?" We all stare wide-eyed at him, no one laughs.

This is a typical conversation when we ordered 2 dozen oysters to share:
FFIL: Can you pass me an oyster?

FMIL: No, let the kids eat the oysters.

FFIL: But we ordered extra.

FMIL: Fine, which oyster do you guys want to give him?
Me: Whichever one he wants.

FMIL: OP, do you want this one?

Me: No.

FMIL: SO, do you want this one?

SO: No.

FMIL: BIL, do you want this one?

BIL: No.

FMIL: Are you sure, OP you don't want this one?

Me: No, it's fine. We have plenty.

Repeat as needed for all food out of FFIL's reach. Every dinner is the same script - FFIL tries to order a beer. FMIL tells the waiter, "No, WE're not going to drink anything." Awkwardness ensues as they fight about what to get in front of the waiter. EVERY TIME. FMIL proceeds to talk about whatever is making her anxious for the entire dinner, ramping up the anxiety at the table. Any time someone interjects or disagrees she says "Let me finish!" or "Can I just say something?" As if she hasn't been dominating the conversation the whole time. Afer passing FFIL food, knocking things over, placing food directly on the table, etc. it's always a huge mess left when we leave.

My SO has adopted a carefully crafted defense mechanism of zoning out for the entirety of dinner, only reawakening when directly spoken to or to order another drink.
submitted by SalsaHelper to JUSTNOMIL

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Got an email this morning about a 2 for 1 on Audible. Must have at least one credit to access sell. Link here
Books I see on the list are as followed:
Campfire Thrills The Road - Cormac McCarthy The Atlantis Gene: The Origin Mystery, Book 1 - A.G. Riddle Hounded: The Iron Druid Chronicles, Book 1 - Kevin Hearne The Complete Sherlock Holmes: The Heirloom Collection - Arthur Conan Doyle Pines - Blake Crouch My Sister's Grave - Robert Dugoni The Gray Man - Mark Greaney The Dragons of Dorcastle: The Pillars of Reality, Book 1 - Jack Campbell Stay Close - Harlan Coben The Woods - Harlan Coben Departure - A.G. Riddle Gardens of the Moon: The Malazan Book of the Fallen, Book 1 - Steven Erikson Hard Magic: Book I of the Grimnoir Chronicles - Larry Correia Faithful Place: A Novel - Tana French Frankenstein - Mary Shelley A Crucible of Souls: The Sorcery Ascendant Sequence, Book 1 - Mitchell Hogan The Emperor's Blades: Chronicle of the Unhewn Throne, Book 1 - Brian Staveley The Water Knife - Paolo Bacigalupi Terms of Enlistment: Frontlines, Book 1 - Marko Kloos The Killer Next Door - Alex Marwood The Big Sleep - Raymond Chandler Fool's Errand: Tawny Man, Book 1 - Robin Hobb True Grit - Charles Portis The Dinner: A Novel - Herman Koch, Sam Garrett (translator) The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay - Michael Chabon Call of Cthulhu and Other Stories - H. P. Lovecraft John Dies at the End - David Wong Dust and Shadow: An Account of the Ripper Killings by Dr. John H. Watson - Lyndsay Faye The Dreaming Void: Void Trilogy, Book 1 - Peter F. Hamilton The Dark Between the Stars: The Saga of Shadows, Book One - Kevin J. Anderson The Wild Inside: A Novel of Suspense - Christine Carbo Strange Highways - Dean Koontz The Call of the Wild -Jack London The Cold, Cold Ground -Adrian McKinty At the Mountains of Madness [Blackstone Edition] - H. P. Lovecraft The Tourist: A Novel - Olen Steinhauer American Psycho -Bret Easton Ellis Last Stand: Surviving America's Collapse -William H. Weber Hypothermia: A Reykjavik Thriller - Arnaldur Indridason Hunter: A Thriller - Robert Bidinotto
Beach Escape Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen Bared to You: A Crossfire Novel, Book 1 - Sylvia Day House Rules - Jodi Picoult Gone with the Wind - Margaret Mitchell Naked in Death: In Death, Book 1 - J. D. Robb The Forgotten Garden - Kate Morton The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires - Molly Harper The Sound of Glass - Karen White My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands - Chelsea Handler The House at Riverton - Kate Morton Knight - Kristen Ashley Redeeming Love - Francine Rivers Firefly Lane: A Novel - Kristin Hannah The Firebird - Susanna Kearsley Feral Sins: Phoenix Pack, Book 1 - Suzanne Wright Country - Danielle Steel Easy Charm - Kristen Proby The Secret: Highlands' Lairds, Book 1 - Julie Garwood Darkfever: Fever, Book 1 - Karen Marie Moning Handle with Care - Jodi Picoult Falling into You - Jasinda Wilder Saving Grace - Julie Garwood The Wanderer: Thunder Point, Book 1 - Robyn Carr The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie: Highland Pleasures, Book 1 - Jennifer Ashley Sea Swept: The Chesapeake Bay Saga, Book 1 - Nora Roberts Hardwired - Meredith Wild Jewels of the Sun: Irish Jewels Trilogy, Book 1 - Nora Roberts Hopeless - Colleen Hoover One Lavender Ribbon - Heather Burch Darkness Dawns: Immortal Guardians Series #1 - Dianne Duvall Just This Once: Escape to New Zealand, Book 1 - Rosalind James Crash Into Me: Heart of Stone, Book 1 - K. M. Scott Four Friends - Robyn Carr Night After Night: Seductive Nights, Book 1 - Lauren Blakely The Language of Hoofbeats - Catherine Ryan Hyde Mine Till Midnight: The Hathaways, Book 1 - Lisa Kleypas Just Three Words - Melissa Brayden Animal Magnetism: Animal Magnetism Series, Book 1 - Jill Shalvis Fated Love - Radclyffe Forever Entangled: Forever Bluegrass, Volume 1 - Kathleen Brooks
Cultural & Educational Journeys Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World - Jack Weatherford The Kitchen House: A Novel - Kathleen Grissom What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions - Randall Munroe The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver In the Plex: How Google Thinks, Works, and Shapes Our Lives - Steven Levy Misbehaving: The Making of Behavioral Economics - Richard Thaler The Elegance of the Hedgehog - Muriel Barbery The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal - Mary Roach Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy: A Righteous Gentile vs. the Third Reich - Eric Metaxas Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships - Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat: and Other Clinical Tales - Oliver Sacks The Psychopath Test: A Journey Through the Madness Industry - Jon Ronson The Drunkard's Walk: How Randomness Rules Our Lives - Leonard Mlodinow Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders - Vincent Bugliosi, Curt Gentry The Disappearing Spoon: And Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World from the Periodic Table of the Elements - Sam Kean The Clockwork Universe: Isaac Newton, The Royal Society, and the Birth of the Modern World - Edward Dolnick Wizard: The Life and Times of Nikola Tesla: Biography of a Genius - Marc J. Seifer The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America's Great Migration - Isabel Wilkerson The Elephant Whisperer: My Life with the Herd in the African Wild - Lawrence Anthony, Graham Spence Origins: Fourteen Billion Years of Cosmic Evolution - Neil deGrasse Tyson, Donald Goldsmith The Hundred-Foot Journey: A Novel - Richard C. Morais The King's Speech: How One Man Saved the British Monarchy - Mark Logue, Peter Conradi A History of the World in 6 Glasses - Tom Standage The Rise of Superman: Decoding the Science of Ultimate Human Performance - Steven Kotler What Einstein Told His Cook: Kitchen Science Explained - Robert L. Wolke The Etymologicon: A Circular Stroll Through the Hidden Connections of the English Language - Mark Forsyth Tinseltown: Murder, Morphine, and Madness at the Dawn of Hollywood - William J. Mann The Girls of Atomic City: The Untold Story of the Women Who Helped Win World War II - Denise Kiernan Food: A Cultural Culinary History - The Great Courses The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde The Drunken Botanist: The Plants That Create the World's Great Drinks - Amy Stewart The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri Atomic Accidents: A History of Nuclear Meltdowns and Disasters; From the Ozark Mountains to Fukushima - James Mahaffey Red Moon Rising: Sputnik and the Hidden Rivals That Ignited the Space Age - Matthew Brzezinski Kokoda (by Peter FitzSimons) - Peter FitzSimons Arc of Justice: A Saga of Race, Civil Rights, and Murder in the Jazz Age - Kevin Boyle Other Side of the Night: The Carpathia, the Californian and the Night the Titanic Was Lost - Daniel Allen Butler A Tale of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
Soul-Searching Solo Treks You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life - Jen Sincero The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are - Brené Brown The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It - Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich - Timothy Ferriss The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph - Ryan Holiday The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared - Jonas Jonasson The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom - Jonathan Haidt Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender - David R. Hawkins, MD. PHD. Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel - Rolf Potts Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha - Tara Brach Eat Move Sleep: How Small Choices Lead to Big Changes - Tom Rath What I Learned Losing a Million Dollars - Jim Paul, Brendan Moynihan, Jack Schwager (foreword) A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy - William B. Irvine The Tao of Pooh - Benjamin Hoff Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: The Acclaimed Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping - Now Revised and Updated - Robert M. Sapolsky Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life - Anne Lamott The Positive Dog: A Story About the Power of Positivity - Jon Gordon The Nerdist Way: How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life) - Chris Hardwick AWOL on the Appalachian Trail - David Miller The Art of Hearing Heartbeats: A Novel - Jan-Philipp Sendker The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro The Story of Philosophy: The Lives and Opinions of the Greater Philosophers - Will Durant Choose Yourself!: Be Happy, Make Millions, Live the Dream - James Altucher The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead: Dos and Don'ts of Right Behavior, Tough Thinking, Clear Writing, and Living a Good Life - Charles Murray The Emerald Mile: The Epic Story of the Fastest Ride in History through the Heart of the Grand Canyon - Kevin Fedarko The Sex Lives of Cannibals: Adrift in the Equatorial Pacific - J. Maarten Troost On the Path to Enlightenment: Heart Advice From the Great Tibetan Masters - Matthieu Ricard, Charles Hastings (translator) Walden on Wheels: On the Open Road from Debt to Freedom - Ken Ilgunas Grandma Gatewood's Walk: The Inspiring Story of the Woman Who Saved the Appalachian Trail - Ben Montgomery The Dirty Life: On Farming, Food, and Love - Kristin Kimball Call of the American Wild: A Tenderfoot's Escape to Alaska - Guy Grieve Home Sweet Anywhere: How We Sold Our House, Created a New Life, and Saw the World - Lynne Martin Adrift: 76 Days Lost at Sea - Steven Callahan Wanderlust: A Love Affair with Five Continents - Elisabeth Eaves Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World - Rita Golden Gelman
Family Roadtrips Steelheart: The Reckoners, Book 1 - Brandon Sanderson Wonder - R. J. Palacio Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury Animal Farm - George Orwell Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson Gulliver's Travels: A Signature Performance by David Hyde Pierce - Jonathan Swift Code Name Verity - Elizabeth Wein The Hobbit (Dramatized) - J. R. R. Tolkien Journey to the Center of the Earth: A Signature Performance by Tim Curry - Jules Verne Emma [Naxos] - Jane Austen Black Beauty - Anna Sewell The 39 Clues, Book 1: The Maze of Bones - Rick Riordan Pippi Longstocking - Astrid Lindgren The Ables - Jeremy Scott The Raven Boys - Maggie Stiefvater The Mermaid's Sister - Carrie Anne Noble A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court - Mark Twain Shadow and Bone - Leigh Bardugo The Finisher - David Baldacci Ship Breaker - Paolo Bacigalupi Little Women - Louisa May Alcott The Adventure Collection: Treasure Island, The Jungle Book, Gulliver's Travels, White Fang, The Merry Adventures of Robin - Jonathan Swift, Jack London, Rudyard Kipling, Howard Pyle, Robert Louis Stevenson Stoneheart: The Stoneheart Trilogy, Book One - Charlie Fletcher Alcatraz versus the Evil Librarians - Brandon Sanderson Echo - Pam Muñoz Ryan The Invention of Hugo Cabret - Brian Selznick Beauty: A Retelling of the Story of Beauty & the Beast - Robin McKinley Something Wicked This Way Comes - Ray Bradbury The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett Anne of Green Gables - Lucy Maude Montgomery
submitted by OSUTechie to audiobooks